| ENTRY 001 | Gethsemane: The Place of Pressing

Overflow. Photo credit | Keliz White

What does it mean to be in a place of pressing?

Lately, life has felt like pressure and tension from all sides, and by lately, I mean the entire first half of 2026. But to be completely honest, probably more like the last year and a half. So, buckle up, because we've got a lot to cover.

It was about the middle of January 2025, when I received a not-so-nonchalant nudge from the Lord: “Submit your packet to get out of the Army, now.” I hesitated for about a month, because I wasn’t even sure I heard that right. Did He really want me to leave a career that I had put my all into and spent the last seven years fighting to achieve? But, God didn’t let up. Sermon after sermon, prophetic YouTube word after prophetic YouTube word, stories were told of current pastors and historical biblical figures like Nehemiah, who were called away from their positions and jobs to fulfill God’s greater purpose for their lives.

Still, I questioned God about what I would do outside of this career field I was in. I have a niche degree in Global Security and Intelligence Studies, an active security clearance, and experience in the Intelligence and Security fields; basically, my resume has national defense written all over it. There’s ample job opportunities for people like me, but I couldn’t imagine He wanted me to walk away from a stable life that had already been curated within the military, just to go and do the same type of work on the civilian side of things. So, I questioned and I debated the whole month. Finally, I just asked the Lord to confirm it by His word if He truly wanted me to leave the military, because I couldn’t make sense of it. Not long after that, He did.

The verses that He anchored me to were Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you — this is the Lord’s declaration — plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope” and the big hitter, Matthew 6:24 “You cannot serve both God and money.” The last verse really stirred my spirit. I recalled that just a few weeks earlier, in December 2024, I had written a paper that became a self-exploration exercise about “My Why” for being in the military. All great leaders need a solid “why,” but what came out in mine didn’t quite seem to fit.

Don’t get me wrong, yes, it’s true that the military is more stressful and challenging in many ways than any other job I have worked, but there was this part of me that enjoyed the challenge, was proud to serve, and honestly thought I would serve for 20+ years. Not to mention, it was a blessing that helped pay almost my whole way through four years of college, enabled me to buy my first home, allowed me to travel, and gave me a sense of financial security I never had before. That being said, as I was writing “My Why” for being in the military, what came out sounded a lot more like I needed it as a safety net, and that just didn’t sit well with me.

Since I was a child, I yearned for stability, both financially and emotionally. These were things that fluctuated in my childhood and caused me to strive for success, stability, and certainty in life. A.K.A becoming a control freak, needing to know every next move, making backup plans for my backup plans, and essentially taking my life by the reins to make sure I had it all figured out. 

"I hope this message encourages anyone who is in their own Gethsemane, that painful place of pressing, to allow the process of what God is doing in you and through you to be completed."

Continuing to explore and analyze the areas in my life that were built around safety and security, I found it funny that the degree I clung to in college was Global Security and Intelligence Studies. A part of me always wanted to make the world a better place and to help protect people, which isn’t a bad goal in life. But the adult me, writing my feelings on a page, was now clearly seeing the little girl that thought, “If I can control my external environment and make it safe and secure, then at some point my internal environment will have to catch up.” And so, in 2018, I began the pursuit of security, both globally and internally. 

Long story short, the Lord put that Matthew 6:24 verse into perspective. And to put the cherry on top, I heard it while it was paired with a Sermon that was talking about Nehemiah leaving his cup bearer position to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. The pastor also directly (with a dash of love) called out people who were more concerned with building their earthly inheritance than advancing the kingdom of God. I just didn’t have much words after that sermon except...Okay God, I heard you loud and clear this time.

I understood that it was time for me to walk away from my earthly securities and a relatively successful life, to answer the call of where it is God wanted me to go and what it is He wanted me to do. As I am writing this today, I still don’t know exactly where and what that is. At this point, I am still doing all that I can to utilize my skill sets and am actively trying to apply them to a different work environment. And, I mean, for all I know my purpose in advancing the Kingdom may not be a complete 180 degree career field shift. Maybe it looks just like this: using my free time to produce and share what the Lord is asking me to, which is perfectly fine by me. Whatever the case is, the Lord has been slowly revealing different instructions for me on how to move forward in this season. In fact, this blog, and the entire Working While Wounded project, is all a part of that. 

Sorry for the long detour, but also, I'm not sorry. I thought you could use more background information to help understand the journey. Plus, the Lord gave me this blog idea as a space where I can post all of my written-out thoughts that are later condensed into a podcast episode on the Working While Wounded channel, which, by the way, is now available on YouTube — Feel free to check it out!

If you're asking yourself why the Podcast is only on YouTube and not on any other Podcast streaming platform, which would technically mean it's just a YouTube channel and not an official Podcast yet...well, all I have to say is Hebrews 11:1, Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what is not yet seen, so we're getting there!

Now, let's dig into what you’re really here for: 

What the heck does it mean to be in a pressing season? WHY is it so painful? And oh, by the way, what does Gethsemane actually mean?

In full transparency, I’m not sure I can answer it all with 100% certainty and accuracy, but what I can tell you is what the Lord has been putting on my heart lately (and what a little bit of Google research taught me) in this difficult season of transition from my old career to my new purpose, from my old self to my new self, and from one step of obedience to the next.

For those of us who didn’t know (myself included), Gethsemane is the garden in which Jesus Christ went to pray to God before He was betrayed by one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, and handed over to the authorities to be crucified (You can read more about this story in the book of Matthew, chapter 26). 

Now, what Google taught me is that Gethsemane is translated from Aramaic and Hebrew origins as “Oil Press.” And can I just say that it will never cease to amaze me the way I have read over the same words in the bible a hundred times and never understood the deeper meaning until prompted with that question from the Holy Spirit, “What do you think that means?” so that I am led to do more research and gain fresh revelation! Amazed.

Anyways, so, in this Bible story of Matthew 26, Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane “deeply grieved to the point of death” praying to His Father in heaven, saying Abba, "...if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.” See, He knew that He was about to be sent to His death by crucifixion on the cross, to fulfill the prophecy as the ultimate sacrifice that would cover the sins of all people, for you and for me, to reconcile us back to a relationship with God. I can only imagine the weight and pain of that burden.

What really stood out to me, though, is how one subtle shift in understanding highlighted something so important. The Garden of Gethsemane went from being just a place with a name I didn’t understand, to now having a deeper meaning in the term “Oil Press." It gave me a new understanding of the purpose of Jesus being in that specifc place, and how it directly relates to our lives today.

What I have come to understand over the years is that oil in the bible is holy and serves many different purposes. For example, it was used to anoint, it was used to heal wounds, it could be used to make meals, and when created and sold, it could even be a means of provision.

In those days, the primary process for producing oil was to use heavy stones to press down on olives and drain the oil out of them. So, now we have a physical understanding of what "Oil Press” meant.

When I look at this story of Jesus in His place of pressing, and I read how He was deeply grieved, I imagine there was just this feeling of crushing, like the literal weight of the world was on His shoulders, because it was. And it was so heavy that even Jesus asked God to “let this cup pass,” and that is a feeling I deeply related to. I don’t know what it’s like to carry the burden of the entire world all your life, but I know the feeling of deep pressure and pain. The pressure of the world to perform, to hustle, to "make it". The tension and pain in relationships with those we love and deeply care for. The crushing thoughts of anxiety that will make you think your world is going to end if you don’t have the next steps figured out. And in this past season, I can tell you I have felt them all at once…and it started with my obedience.

In this particular story of Jesus, immediately after He asks God to let this call on His life pass from Him, he says something profound, “Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Can you imagine being in a moment where you are about to freely give yourself up to death, in so much pain that you are pleading for another way, and yet still finding it in your heart to say, “Lord, your will be done”? It’s the ultimate act of obedience. It’s the ultimate relinquishment of selfish desires and the ultimate act of love for God and love for people. Wow.

I also want to point out that in this moment, the bible highlights that

Jesus “fell facedown and prayed.”

So, His posture as He is praying and crying out to God is both completely overwhelmed with emotion and somehow in complete submission at the same time. I will tell you that in this season I have had a lot of “falling facedown” moments in prayer, and now it has just become a habit to assume that posture.

What I love most about this story and this idea of what it takes to produce oil, is that once the oil is flowing there is healing. But it did come at a cost; a cost of comfort and a cost of selfish desire, and for Jesus, the cost of His earthly life. Yet, in Philippians 2:7-9, it says that instead of acting on His selfish desires and refusing to pick up His cross, Jesus  “...emptied Himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when He had come as a man, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death — even to death on a cross. For this reason God highly exalted Him and gave Him the name above every name.”

So as for why being in the place of pressing has to be so painful, I'm not 100% sure. I just know that we live in a broken world, and Jesus said in John 16:23, "You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world." Many healing processes, both physical and emotional, can be painful. I've seen it get worse before it gets better. But now, having been through a season of enduring and getting to see what God has produced in me through the pressing, I am grateful I didn't give up or walk away in the midst of the pain, even though I really wanted to at some points. I'm more grateful that He held onto me and didn't let me go.

“Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when He had come as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death — even to death on a cross. For this reason God highly exalted Him and gave Him the name above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow — in heaven and on earth and under the earth — and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2:5-11

The oil and the blood that flowed through Jesus’s act of obedience carried anointing and healing. And this is where we come to understand that the production of spiritual oil is often produced by pressure and ultimately submission to God in the season of pressing — because in every season of pressing, there is something divine He is trying to get out of us. When Jesus allowed Himself to be pressed, it set us free from the captivity of sin and restored our relationship with our heavenly Father. It broke chains off of our life and loosed the enemy's grip on us. And the best part is that He rose again and broke the power of death!

We all have our own burdens and crosses to bear and in that there will be moments that will require deep obedience to the Lord, so that we can fulfill His purpose and advance His kingdom. The bible says to present ourselves as a living sacrifice to God (Romans 12:1), meaning to live our lives in obedience and submission to Him, dedicated to carrying out His will. And I am thankful that Jesus was the one who took on the costly burden of dying on the cross so that we could have the opportunity to be such a living sacrifice. Many times, obedience may come at a cost, but in my experience, the things God asked me to be obedient in, especially the things He asked me to walk away from or give up, He either replaced it with something better, restored it to me in a better condition than it was in the first time I had it, or did a deep healing in me through the process. He has never let any act of obedience go unhonored. That’s not to say that the point of obedience is to seek out honor or exaltation — it’s not. I believe that the point of obedience is to render the love to the Lord that He is deserving of because of who He is and all that He has done for us. But, what I am saying is that when it feels scary to act in obedience, you can trust Him. He will use that act of obedience for His kingdom and for your good because He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose for them (Romans 8:28). 

The latest act of obedience I had to walk through, aside from the career pivot, was in relationships. God wrote Philippians 2:3 on my heart for the entire month of June, which reads, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.” As someone who considers themselves to be compassionate, giving, and loving, I found it odd that this was actually extremely difficult. I came to realize that I am also someone who has experienced deep emotional pain in romantic, platonic, and familial relationships, which caused me to have a lot of deep-rooted defense mechanisms that I called “boundaries” but were really just manifested anxiety and a mix of walls I built myself without asking the Lord how I should build them. So, the Lord challenged me this month to pour more, stretch more, and live out Philippians 2:3. On top of what already felt like a difficult task, I had the added stress of being rejected from multiple job applications without receiving even a single call back, with only two months left of financial stability. It's safe to say that all of this created in me a feeling heavier than pressed, but more like CRUSHED. And yet, I knew what He told me my instruction was in this weighty season. So, in each opportunity the Lord brought me to consider others as more important than myself, I obeyed — even if it brought me to tears.  And now I know I was only able to pour out more because He filled my jar with oil the more I leaned into Him.

It was in this same season that the Lord made a very special distinction for me — I was not being crushed, I was being pressed.

As I prepare for my transition out of the Army in less than two months now, I am certain that God told me to make this move for a reason, even though it isn’t entirely clear yet. Throughout this whole season, He has provided. He opened the door to an amazing internship and gave me a way to get additional certifications while I wait out my transition time. He continues to provide opportunities that set me up for success and consistently puts me in the path of people who can help me achieve it — all while I do the quiet work of obedience. Even more than that, He has recently provided me with a better understanding of purpose and direction for my role in advancing His kingdom.

Although it may not be the full picture and I have no idea where it will go, He gave me the name and the vision for this blog, and for the overall Working While Wounded concept. This is a way for me to share my testimonies with the world, point people back to Jesus, and encourage obedience to His commands even when it hurts. The truth is, He has so much abundance for us in this life and in heaven, but the key to accessing it is in obedience. 

Through every act of submission and obedience to God, I have experienced breakthroughs of some kind; I’ve seen prayers answered that I waited on for years, I've seen relationships flourish, I’ve seen family members return to Jesus, and now I feel I am getting to branch out in a new way to reach people I’ve never even met. At the core of this, I am starting to learn that your obedience isn’t just about you; it can also impact people attached to you and the people you are assigned to reach.

I believe that God gave me a vision for this project, because He wanted to let the oil that was produced from what felt like was crushing me, flow into the wounds of others through testimony, community, and relatability, all to bring forth more healing in this world! I believe in the pressing process, not only was He producing oil, but He was producing the version of me that looked a little more like Jesus; the version that could carry the blessings and the burdens.

The oil painting that you might have seen at the beginning of this entry is titled “Overflow.” I painted it in June of this year, while I was on a solo prayer retreat with the Lord. I was still going through my pressing season before I really knew that that's what it was. He began revealing it slowly, and it all came together to form Working While Wounded. I truly think the concept of that painting is a beautiful reflection of this message.

I believe that we all have a call on our lives, and I can only imagine what it would look like if we all walked in it. I want to see us all get to the place with God where we can finally just say "yes." So here I am, trying to take the first step.

I'm absolutely not perfect and am barely even qualified. I’m not a preacher, I’m not a writer (clearly), I’m not a public speaker, I don’t have all the tools to make a full-on fancy production. Even as I write this, I am asking myself, “wait, did I just word vomit the past few years of my life onto 10 pages full of run-on sentences that anyone on the internet can see? Can a blog post even be 10 pages!?” but, oh well! This is me starting somewhere. All I know is I’ve got some life experiences and the testimonies of what God has brought me through to offer. Truth is, I’m just a sinner trying to do life a second time with Jesus at the forefront, and the funny thing is, I have no idea what I’m doing. I just gave the Lord my “yes,” and He is working with me to do the rest.  

I hope this message encourages anyone who is in their own Gethsemane, that painful place of pressing, to allow the process of what God is doing in you and through you to be completed. If you know what He has spoken to you, but the space you're in doesn’t look anything like a sweet promise, I urge you to take it into prayer and not prematurely back out of the process just because it’s painful. A great pastor, Lisa Kai, recently shared a word on this topic and reminded me that if you quit too soon, you might not get to see the oil flow. And if you’re in a season where you aren’t sure what God is saying, I urge you to “fall facedown” in prayer and seek the Lord. Even if you don’t hear anything right away, keep seeking and He will reveal Himself to you. 

I understand that we aren’t all in the same season, so every message may not apply to us in the same way. My personal practice when I hear a message is to take every word back to the Lord, test it by the Spirit and the Scripture to make sure it’s coming from Him and ask if it's truly for me in the particular season that I am in. But for those of us who do happen to be in the same season, I believe the Lord sets us there together to have that comfort in community and comfort in knowing that you aren't alone in what you're going through. So, I hope this comforts someone.

I encourage everyone to ask the Lord if a word you received is from Him, how it may apply to your life right now, and/or if it might just be one of those words you keep in your back pocket for a rainy day or maybe for a friend.  

If you came across this entry, I pray something meaningful was learned and that the words God wants to be transferred, would be planted on good soil in the hearts of those who find it!

"once the oil is flowing there is healing."